Spouse Alarmed by What "Stargazing" Husband Is Really Doing With Telescope

In an advice column letter, a stressed spouse revealed something dirty about their husband's telescope usage in a high-rise apartment building that had nothing to do with stargazing — and let's just say it sounds like he deserves to move on down.

"The other night, I caught him using the telescope to look through the windows of the apartments across the street," a letter-writer told Slate's "How To Do It" advice columnist, Rich Juzwiak. "It turns out he’s been watching a couple have sex through their bedroom window!"

Pseudonymed as "Jackson," the husband in question suggested when confronted by his unsuspecting spouse that it was all in good fun and there was "no harm" in his voyeurism from their high-rise apartment — and even propositioned that his spouse join him in his nightly observations.

"When I asked how he would feel if he found out someone was watching us, he responded with 'flattered,'" the writer, nicknamed "The Bodies He’s Observing Aren’t Celestial Ones," recounted. "Jackson then suggested we take turns 'watching the show.' I called him a pervert and left the room."

If "Bodies" is to be believed — and there's a non-zero chance that this letter, or any other, is fibbed — it's clear that they're at wits' end. After asking Juzwiak what the best course of action would be, short of calling the cops, to "put a stop to [Jackson's] voyeurism," the advice columnist also seemed perplexed.

"I know you’re not coming to How to Do It for legal advice, right?" Juzwiak responded. "That said, voyeurism/peeping Tom laws vary by state, so while it's possible that what Jackson is doing is illegal, it's not certain. If you are curious about the law in your location, you’ll have to perform your own search."

Unfortunately, Futurism found via our own search that this nefarious telescopic use case is more common than we'd like to admit. From a nine-year-old Reddit thread asking for advice on which 'scopes are best for peeping toms to a 1990 New York Times blurb about purchasing one for "sneaky city views," consumer telescopes have historically had more terrestrial purposes than polite society acknowledges.

Agreeing with the baffled "Bodies" advice-seeker, the columnist said that it would indeed be "severe" for them to turn their husband in — and that informing the couple who he's violating could also, unfortunately, end up doing more harm than good.

"Telling them would make it hurt, if they care (if they’re doing this with their blinds wide open, you have to wonder how concerned they are about being seen and on which side that concern lies)," Juzwiak noted.

Ultimately, the columnist advised the overwhelmed spouse to repeatedly "make [their] opinion known and keep doing so loudly" — though we'd add that maybe they should throw his telescope in the trash too.

More on creeps: Woman Alarmed When Date Uses ChatGPT to Psychologically Profile Her